I created this very simple thumbs up or thumbs down behavior tracking chart because I don’t do very well with time-consuming charts or journals, but I know the value of having something to look back at when we get to the end of the day, week, or month.
The truth is that my kids need correction and redirection many times a day. This leaves me as a parent giving out endless little reminders, comments, and warnings that they – let’s be honest – often become deaf to. It’s exhausting and discouraging to be ignored, and also exhausting and discouraging to be constantly trying to determine when a certain behavior (or accumulation of behaviors) is due a punishment/consequence or just another reminder or conversation.
Weighing “is it more stressful to deal with the complaining associated with giving a punishment for this or is it more stressful to keep on repeating myself?” is also very much the opposite of fun. Parent life!
So I created this little thumbs up / thumbs down chart today. I laminated it, and am going to use a dry erase marker so we can reuse the same one every week.
The idea is that it’s mainly for all of those “little” things:
- “That was a really rude way to talk to me, you’re getting a thumbs down.”
- “Good job cleaning up after the first time being asked, you get a thumbs up.”
- “I saw that you used a healthy coping strategy when you were frustrated, I’m going to give you a thumbs up. You’ve been improving a lot lately!”
Big misbehaviors are still tied to a punishment or a consequence, such as a time out or being grounded or whatever, and I don’t intend for this to replace meaningful compliments, encouragement, and conversations about things I admire about them or ways I appreciate certain actions.
The point, at least the way I’m using them, is just to kind of collectively “see” how the day is going. There’s no particular reward or punishment associated with them or a requirement that they achieve a certain number or ratio in each row every day.
Being very nonchalant is the goal. Because let’s be honest: I’m tired of doling out warnings and threats. There are twenty-five boxes of thumbs in each row so, every little misbehavior or good deed doesn’t hold that much weight. It’s not like, the popular classroom “color” system where you’ve only got green, yellow, red or whatever, and moving from one to the next is a big deal. Yet, there’s just something about presence of a visual behavior gauge that sort of motivates cooperation.
There may end up being some little reward activity if we’ve had a “good” ish week, or a lack of said reward if the week has been really bad. But it’s the day-to-day “reminder” that is the goal.
There are, obviously, lots of ways to use this simple chart. You could use it for tracking more specific behaviors that happen many times throughout the day, such as “Thumbs up = used a healthy coping strategy, thumbs down = had a meltdown”.
Your creativity is the limit!
Useful for CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), and other behavior adjustment programs. I’m publishing on my website for parents, but it’s perfectly acceptable for adult use as well. Enjoy!